We’re here in Gracias, and settling in nicely.  That said, there’s a lot of new stuff to figure out and get used to.  But first, a quick financial update.  It is with great reverence and gratitude that I get to tell you between what we have already received and commitments that have been made, that we seem to be fully funded for the year, according to our best estimates.  Praise God for seeing fit to bring us to this point, and thank you so much to all those who have so generously given to some guy doing some thing somewhere, and his wonderful missionary wife and children.  Please continue to pray for us… we will strive to bring glory to God through all of this.

So our flights went great and the kids did amazing.  Well, pretty much amazing… I mean, they’re kids.  Somehow we managed to get 4 large suitcases, 4 carry-ons, 4 backpacks, 2 car seats, and 1 guitar onto the plane one way or another.  And I can’t really even play the guitar.  I’m just gonna look silly when I can’t play it later, either, and I’m hauling it back to the states.

The tricky part came later, when it was time to ride the bus to Yamaranguila, the town where we stayed Wednesday night at the girls’ home (or farm), where we also stayed last June.  Apparently, there was some kind of accident on the road we took, and the 4 hour bus ride took more like 6.  And it was sweat-while-sitting-still weather with no AC.  However, that prompted us to pull over at a nearby restaurant that had AC inside and a legit play area outside.  I mean, I think I had a pretty good attitude the whole time, but it was yet another reminder that some bad things in life simply aren’t worth complaining about, because we have no idea what’s in store for us.  No situation is so bad that it can’t be made worse by failing to be patiently faithful.  When we got closer to Yamaranguila, we bought some killer fried chicken, then ate it back at the farm, and crashed for the night.

In the morning, it was time to go pick up our new car at the school.  We wired the money for it to another missionary in Honduras a month or so ago, and the school got it dialed in and got it to their campus in Yamaranguila for us.  It’s a 1997 Toyota 4Runner, and we know you’re jealous.  Only trouble with going to get it was that the car we were gonna take to pick it up wouldn’t start, so we took a motorcycle.  It was during that motorcycle ride that I was provided with a clear reminder that God promised to keep me and my family safe in Honduras.  Nothing bad happened, I’m just easily frightened.  We got the car back to the farm, and off we went to Gracias, following behind Jake and Rachel Compaan, keeping up as best we could.

We got to Gracias, and naturally, there was a huge truck blocking the street to the house we’re staying at.  They had just poured a concrete ramp at the end of the road, and it needed some time to set.  There’s a way to drive around, but apparently it’s an old river bed, so it was better just to carry the suitcases a little ways.  We got inside to meet Carlos and Rina and their daughter Rebeca, who live in the lower level of the house, and they’d even made us a custom bilingual welcome sign.  Then we went up to the school for a bit, where they had prepared an incredible Honduran lunch for us.  I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the food, but we’ll see.

We explored the school grounds, and Sam and Evie got to see what a real grasshopper really was… they’re about the size of your pointer finger.

The rest of the time, we’ve been scoping out different places in town, buying groceries, getting our new 8-digit Honduran phone numbers, unpacking clothes, playing uno and old maid, struggling through conversations in Spanish, enjoying Honduran food, and even catching a few minutes of a local soccer game.  Stephanie is slated to go into the clinic tomorrow morning, and school orientation starts for me on Wednesday.  Life has been significantly slower this weekend than we’re used to lately, and thank goodness.  We haven’t gotten much of anything done yet, and indeed, we’re grateful for that.  It’s just really nice to finally be here.

June was insane.  We moved out of our house and into a trailer, and we’re both still working our normal jobs.  Thankfully, we had several friends help us move and let us store stuff at their homes.  We had been in that house for about 10 years, and it is incredible the amount of junk you can accumulate without realizing it.  We had to move plenty of stuff that we hadn’t used in 3 years to get to the stuff we hadn’t used in 7.  Every time I got back after moving what I thought was the last vanload somewhere, I was able to quickly fill up the van again.  Moving is awful.

But then suddenly, we were done.  We’ve had the trailer parked at 5 different homes / cottages / campgrounds, and now we’re settled in nicely at Dutch Treat Campground.  We’ve spent a lot of time at the pool and the park, but we still haven’t broken in the air hockey table in the game room, and we’re still awaiting the first time the “honey wagon” comes around to flush our drainage system.

We’ve gotten to spend time with a lot of people at these different places, and it has truly been a blessing just to be with our friends and family before we won’t get to see them for an extended period of time.  Most of what we’ve shared here in the past has been hopeful and forward-looking, but we’d be lying to ourselves if we didn’t admit a sadness that comes with leaving the familiar – especially familiar relationships – behind for a time.  Our friends and family will continue to grow and change – and we won’t be around for it.  At least not in person.  It will be weird.

Now that we’re less than 3 weeks away from flying out, things are changing in ways that we didn’t necessarily anticipate.  Generally speaking, when our ideas of the future become reality, they often have a different flavor to them that isn’t quite the same as that original idea.

We now have renters in our house, and a few people, including them, have asked something like, “Is it weird to see somebody else’s stuff in your house?”  And maybe surprisingly, my impression was no, it’s not really that weird.

What was exceptionally weird, though, was this.  The morning we got all of our stuff out and pulled the trailer out onto life on the road, I went back through the house for one last walkthrough.  It was eerie.  Seeing a home that not only used to house our things, but whose very purpose was to house things… to see that as completely empty was a twilight zone type of experience.  I had seen the piles of stuff dwindling over time, but to see it with absolutely nothing in it was extremely unsettling.

It got me thinking about what “home” actually is to me.  Should it be a physical location, or can it be something that goes with me wherever I am?  Psalm 27:4 came to mind:

One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

I’d rather dwell in the house of the Lord than be tied to any particular physical entity, right?!  So our home in Christ becomes something that we take with us wherever we go, wherever we rise or lay our head.  If we make our home in Christ, it stops being a physical space that we need to get back to, and becomes a system of support that surrounds us wherever we are.

And as much as I love my house, it was built for a particular purpose: to house someone’s stuff.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be my stuff, but it simply doesn’t fulfill its purpose when it’s empty… it becomes a weird unsettling version of what it was meant to be.

In the same way, our lives without Christ look weird.  Our purpose is to enter into relationship with him.  We were meant to seek him and grow to know him more every day.  When we deny that, things get weird, and eventually, pretty unsettling.  A human life completely devoid of the “stuff” of Christ is like a house with no belongings in it.  I mean, I guess it’s still there, but that’s all.  It’s just… there.  It’s not serving any meaningful purpose.  Its very state of existence points out the fact that it was meant for something greater!

Furthermore, this world without Christ looks weird.  When we listen to “the news,” we get this distorted view of reality that has little to do the redemptive theme that has been running through history for millennia.  We focus on disasters and conflicts and death counts, but we rarely hear about the amazing things God is doing to redeem his creation.  When’s the last time the nightly news headlined a school in Ethiopia that just graduated 18 students, or the small village in Kyrgyzstan that just heard the good news of the gospel for the first time, or a small homeless population in a small town given job training and housing assistance, or the stories of the people in your life who you’ve seen God work for in amazing, unbelievable, miraculous ways?  These things get almost completely overlooked, but they have a far bigger impact on eternity than the destructive sensationalism we’re so eager to consume.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of evil in the world, but we should never allow it to make us lose sight of the overwhelming good that is happening!  “The news” shows us this world without Christ, but we know better.  We know there is more to the story.  Like the man born blind in John 9, we are here in this place at this time so that the glory of God can be revealed in our stories.  In verses 1-4, John says:

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.  His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.  As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me.  Night is coming, when no one can work.”

So when the darkness of this world makes us think that night has already come, we must realize what’s going on and what we are to do about it.  We must work by the moonlight.  For as those living with an eternal hope and light, promised to us from the very source of the universe, we know a new day is dawning, the brightness of which has never before been made known to man, and there is much to do to prepare.

The glory of the Father may have passed by Moses, and the apostles may have seen the glory of the human life of the Son, but you and I live in the age of the Holy Spirit, surrounding us in full glory just aching to be revealed.  It’s not a matter of waiting around for God’s promises to be fulfilled in our homes, our lives, and our world.  It’s a matter of looking right next to you where the fulfillment of those promises has been sitting for some time, and grabbing hold.

By the way, Jesus healed the man born blind.  And if he hadn’t been born blind, we wouldn’t be learning from his story 2000 years later.  Just imagine what your own blindness, or the darkness you see around you, could be 2000 years from now, if only you let God do his redeeming work through it.

During college, I spent a few brief stints living at a few different friends’ parents’ houses.  My family was back in Pennsylvania, so occasionally it would make sense for me to crash with a friend over Thanksgiving break, or for part of a summer, or for something like that.  I know there were at least three families that put me up for a while… there may have been others I’m forgetting.  Very shortly before college graduation, I knew where I would be working, but I didn’t have an apartment picked out, and the end of the lease on our college house was fast approaching.  About that time, someone asked my then-fiancé Stephanie, “Is he just planning on relying on the kindness of strangers for the rest of his life?”  I suppose that answer is more truly yes now than it was even at the time.

But here’s the thing about the kindness of strangers.  Not to take credit away from the individuals, but it is through us that God chooses to act and manifest his kindness in the world.  It’s through the relationships we build and the generosity we give to and receive from others that God can reveal to us much about his character.  We simply can’t understand him in his entirety, so he breaks off little chunks and spreads them throughout our lives, experiences, and relationships with friends, families, and even strangers, so that he can gradually reveal himself to us in a way we can understand.

For our part, we’ve continued to see the hand of God in our journey, extended through the kindness of “strangers,” and even some people we know a little bit better than that.

For starters, we have a place to stay for free when we arrive in Honduras.  If that’s not absurd enough, you should know it’s probably bigger than our house in the US, and I’m not even going to tell you that it has clean running water and air conditioning, because then it might not seem like we’re suffering sufficiently.

This place comes at the courtesy of Mark and Becky Veenstra, who do a great deal of work to organize the medical brigades that travel to the Luke Society clinic in Gracias over the winter months.  They’ve responded to God’s call in such a way over the years that they built a home in Gracias which they use to house these medical teams when they serve there for a week, or two, or longer.  They have graciously extended the use of their house to us while we look for another place of our own in Gracias before the medical brigades arrive.  Oh, and this place even comes with friends, as there is a Honduran couple that lives in the lower level, whom we met while we were there in February, and we couldn’t be more excited to get to spend more time with them and get to know them much better.

Also, we found a renter for our house in Michigan without even listing the place.  (Hint: God did it.)  Our neighbor’s sister is moving in from out of town.  Done.  I knew I didn’t need to worry about it.  And to rent out your home in Holland Township, you need an inspection, so that gave me another opportunity to worry – which I took full advantage of – but an inspection last Thursday revealed that we only needed a few hard-wired smoke detectors, and we’ll be good to go.  Those are getting installed this week.

Now here’s the trick.  This rental actually needs to begin before the end of June, and that’s a little problem because we don’t fly out until August 2nd.  Enter Stephanie’s brilliant idea of camping for the month of July.  So we’re borrowing a camper from my workplace, and we reserved one of the last spots at Dutch Treat.  That’s right, the one and only Dutch Treat.  It’s a campground right off the main road in town, so it’s definitely not the type of camping we’ve done before, but it has a pool and a pond and a field and everything else that will make this a month Sam and Evie will never forget.  And perhaps one that Stephanie and I will wish we could.  Ok, I don’t really mean that because we’re all looking forward to it as sort of this extra bonus that God is giving our family as we travel along on this journey.  When else are we gonna get a chance to do something like this?!  It reminds me of the passage of scripture through which I first caught a glimpse of the Holy Spirit:

Kzzzzzzkssssssssssssssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo\wbddp1p                                             ksxpspxxlxkckxcxmxxmxckdssidswbzvcvvsgcz

Sorry, that was actually Evie.  I promise I didn’t even set that up.  I got up to make coffee, and she was typing away when I got back.  Sam was close by telling her that she’d better stop.  Good man.  Here’s the real thing:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

I like to think of the “light burden” as one that is lighter than air, like a backpack full of helium that lifts us as we go, making our steps lighter, allowing us to experience joy in the toil that used to seem like drudgery.  I never would have chosen to camp for a month with my family right in the middle of town.  But I think God knows better than I do what’s best for me, and I’m really looking forward to it.

So I can see God moving in all these ways in my life, but I think what has impressed me the most lately is the incredible way that God weaves all of our stories together.

When we were in Gracias in February, one of only a couple scriptures that really spoke to me was Isaiah 61… the whole chapter.  I won’t recount it here, but feel free to look it up.  I think I just stumbled across it through a daily reading in my little Bible app, and as I read through it, I got a very real sense that God was speaking promises to me, but it was hard to believe because there are some pretty lofty ideas in there.  Fast forward to April 26, when I get an email from the teacher who will have Evie in her class next year in Gracias, introducing herself to all the new teachers.  Her email signature indicates that she works with none other than “61 Isaiah Ministries,” and she and her husband have spent about the last six years in Gracias.  Furthermore, they said that Stephanie is an answer to prayer for them as they have a desire to teach first aid and CPR to their Honduran staff for when they are in charge of looking after children.  We’ll have to figure out how everything is going to jive with our other plans, but it’s very clear that God has gone before us – way before us – on this journey.  Also, that same day, we went to a little Wednesday night gathering at church, and the scripture we were discussing turned out to be Luke 4:18-19, in which Jesus was reading in the synagogue from the prophets… from Isaiah 61.  You know, sometimes I’m almost offended by how little attention God thinks I am paying.

And I’ve been greatly encouraged as I’ve been seeking help and advice from those who have been and continue to be serving on the mission field.  There are so many!  It’s a big world out there, and there are so many incredible people doing so many incredible things, that I would encourage you to find out more about the missionaries your church supports, or your cousin who takes trips to Africa or Asia or something (or maybe it’s Australia?) and get to know their stories, and even maybe a little of the geography of the area where they serve, and listen to a couple of the stories of the things they have seen God do to transform people’s lives.

And don’t forget about those who are living out God’s will at home, and maybe this includes you.  Let me point out that this also includes those who aren’t completely sure whether or not they are in God’s will, as long as they are seeking him genuinely and with all of their heart, wherever on this planet they are.  In Acts 1:8, after having risen from the dead and before ascending into heaven, Jesus says to his apostles, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  And it’s very inspiring, but our simple minds tend to skip right to the end and assume that witnessing can only be powerful if it’s done someplace else… at the ends of the earth.  But if we think God’s work can only be done somewhere far away, or only happen sometime in the future, we’d be missing so much.

Earlier, in verse 4, Jesus actually says, “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised.”  Let’s not lose sight of the fact that the apostles are in Jerusalem!  This is the first place Jesus brings up, and it’s exactly where he wants them to be his witnesses… where they are now.  And that’s the same place where we must be witnesses… wherever we are… right now.

Our family’s isn’t a unique situation or some sort of exception.  God is showing up in radical ways for people all over the world, regardless of where they’re from or where they’re working and how much of a “missionary” or a “Christian” or a “good person” you or I would judge them to be.  It’s not up to us to discern God’s calling for their life, but we should take notice when something out of the ordinary seems to be working so well.  And then, when these unexpected things seem to be happening over and over again in a consistent manner, it’s up to us either to recognize and acknowledge or to deny the underlying pattern that is being woven by the creator of the universe.  You don’t have to look very hard, but you do have to remain open to God to see what he wants to show you.  And he’ll keep on showing you every day, because you’re the reason he created this world and sent his son to redeem it.  And he was especially excited to redeem you, and to help you live out his perfect plan for your life.

We’ve really made some great progress in the last month.  We booked our flights at a great price and we held an initial fundraiser that was definitely a success.  I’ll tell you some more about both of those things, but first, I just wanted to remind you that I still have no idea what I’m doing.

I used to work with a guy named Jeff Woods (maybe some of you know him… or maybe you are him… Hi Jeff).  He taught me something important that he might not even remember saying.  We worked together at Innotec in Zeeland, MI, and they manufacture fairly complex parts using advanced machinery that is operated and maintained by small teams of engineers.  I was fresh out of college and eager to learn, and Jeff was working on repairing a broken machine one day.  It was kind of in a congested space, so I asked him if I could look over his shoulder and watch how he was fixing the machine.  I assumed it would be a procedure he had done before that I could learn and replicate in the future.  Not so much.  He said, “You can watch… but only if you first understand that I have no idea what I’m doing.”

This was a complex machine with a complex problem.  There was no existing, known solution.  This was a new and unique problem that no one in the world had ever been presented with or solved before.  Also, this was likely not the last new and unique problem that he or I would come across.  And therein lies the value of his statement, both with respect to the machinery, and also more broadly.  Life is confusing, and complex, and intricate, and there may not be a perfect solution to every problem, but that’s all the more reason to get after it and start trying some new solutions to see what sticks.

Fairly quickly, he had the machine fixed and we were up and running.  I don’t remember the exact problem or the solution, but I most certainly remember the lesson.  You don’t have to have the entire solution figured out in order to make progress.  Most of the time, you will benefit greatly from simply doing.  This is especially true of anything God is involved in.  He figures it all out.  You just need to do.

So I’d be delighted if you kept reading and following our story, but only if you first understand that I have no idea what I’m doing.  Hopefully, some spiritual truths I am discovering will resonate with you, but I wouldn’t expect them to manifest themselves in your life the same exact way, so I’d encourage you to keep a mindful and discerning mentality about you.  God wants you to learn directly from him, and he sometimes has some interesting ways of going about things.

Back to the details… we booked our tickets to Honduras for August 2nd, and we’ll be returning to Michigan for a couple weeks around Christmas break.  The search for tickets was a drawn-out stress-filled hassle, but only because I made it that way.  I learned a lot about the process that should make things easier in the future.  Airline credit cards, bag fees, rewards programs, blah, blah, blah.  I actually think all that stuff is worth exploring, but certainly not worth stressing about.  Although the day after I booked, the prices went up almost $40/ticket.  I’m not gonna lie, that made me feel pretty awesome.

And as for our fundraiser, we had a wonderful pancake breakfast last Saturday thanks to many friends and family members who helped, but especially because of Stephanie who worked like crazy to get everything organized, prepared, and set up.  She had set up all the tables before anyone else got there to help on Friday.  If that were me, I’m pretty sure I would’ve just waited until somebody else showed up to help.  And thanks so much to everyone who came and enjoyed a meal with us and to those who couldn’t make it but wanted to be there.  It was really a lot of fun, and we truly couldn’t do it without you guys.  We’ve been living in a state of grateful overwhelmedness for a while now, and it’s really wonderful.

We still have a ways to go financially, but we raised a good chunk of what we estimate we’ll need for the year.  For me, the anxiety leading up to that day was replaced with a remarkable sense of peace.  If I had any remaining doubt that God is in this thing, that all went away last Saturday.  And then I felt almost guilty for not having had that peacefulness that comes from faith earlier on.

What would it look like to approach life with that same peace every day, in the midst of tribulation, before knowing the outcome?  I’m really sick and tired of living in hesitation.  I’m sick of living as though God may or may not keep his promises.  I’m tired of implying through my own inaction or withheld words that God doesn’t have full control over every situation.  I’m done with worrying about whether or not “other people will think I’m crazy” if I mention God’s wisdom in difficult circumstances.  I’m finished with having intimate knowledge of something truer and more real than our very material existence, and then living with it tucked away in secret as though it were pretend, or only useful at certain times.

Anxiety, doubt, and worry are insidious creations of the enemy, born out of a justification of rationality, and then distorted and amplified until they control us.  And they may indeed be stronger than our own willpower at times, and those are the times when we are invited to appeal to the one who is more powerful than all of our fears combined.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:6-7

How long will I continue to choose to live in doubt and worry?  These things have no redeeming qualities, no better half that comes with persevering through them.  They are notably absent from the Sermon on the Mount.  It doesn’t say “Blessed are the doubters, for I will surprise the pants off them when I return,” or “Blessed are the worriers, for they will have completely worn themselves out by the time they see my great works.”  There is no space for these things in a life lived in faith.  However, when these things do creep in, we can still be reassured that God’s endless grace will be there to take them away, time and time again.

“Tell everyone who is discouraged, ‘Be strong and don’t be afraid! God is coming to your rescue…’” – Isaiah 35:4 (Good News Translation)

He has been with us, guiding us long before we even realized it.  Why would the present or the future be any different?

So the next big logistical step is to find a renter for our house in Michigan.  Given all I just said, I’m doing my best not to worry about it.  I guess if that doesn’t work out, we can just sell the thing, but we really like it.  And after that verse in the Bible where it says to sell all your stuff and give the money to the poor, I’m pretty sure it says something about keeping your house in Michigan so you can live in it again later.  I don’t have a reference for that, though.

Also, listing our house for rent requires taking pictures of clean rooms all around our home.  We’re working on it.  Unfortunately, half of the current residents of our home have devoted their lives to maintaining a constant state of chaos in each and every room.  Stephanie developed a good strategy, though… clean one room at a time and take pictures while it lasts.  Then repeat.

Just as a final reminder to you and to myself, I really have no idea what I’m doing.  But even when we’re far from having things figured out, there’s one thing we can always do… continue to seek the Lord.  As a matter of fact, recognizing that you don’t have everything figured out can really be beneficial and transformational as you have more of a reason to seek strength beyond yourself.  And there’s a God that created you for exactly that purpose, and he’s just waiting to reveal himself to you.  He is likely to show you that he is one who is eternally unchanging, but also delightfully unpredictable.